


Surprise, Bitch!

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Foxtrot [55]
Category: Sisters (1991 TV), Stargate Atlantis, The Dollhouse - Fandom, Thoughtcrimes (2003)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, not actually RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6253975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the comment_fic prompt: <i>Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard + Acastus Kolya, "Surprise Bitch, you thought you seen the last of me!"</i> Tag to Remnants. John and the imprints take on the alien tech posing as Kolya. Set in Season 5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise, Bitch!

"Well, this is an unfortunate turn of events," Architect said. He tapped on the invisible barrier between the imprints and Foxtrot John Sheppard and listened to the glass-like plinking sound it made.

Brian sighed and kicked at the barrier, but the result was the same. They were all completely cut off from John. He was facing this alien tech on his own. "Kolya's dead and he knows it. We all know it. Obviously this is an alien illusion."

"John doesn't have our perspective to help him make that determination," Physicist pointed out.

Traci threw her hands up. "It's not like he said, 'Surprise, Bitch, you thought you seen the last of me!' He looks like Kolya. He sounds like Kolya. Why would John think he isn't Kolya?"

"Well, what should we do?" Julian asked. He tried hollering, "John! It's an illusion! He's not real!"

"Been there, done that," English Teacher said.

"Then what's your big idea?" Julian demanded.

Brendan paced the length of the barrier. It was both small - he could pace it quickly - and enormous; it surrounded the entirety of John's consciousness. "I say we storm it. We wind up, and we go."

"Some of us didn't play football in college you know," Traci said.

Joe said, "We have to save him."

John was a damn good soldier on his own even without the buffer of the intense SERE training and other interrogation training from the military and intelligence imprints. He held his own while Kolya tortured him, but every wave of terror, of pain buffeted through the barrier onto the imprints. Half of them were huddled together, braced for each impact, each time Kolya's fist swung. John was trying not to panic, trying to hold it together, spitting out witty retorts like he wished he could spit in Kolya's eye.

"You can tolerate more than any man I've ever known. Now why is that?"

"Well, I was married once."

He didn't seem to notice that none of the imprints were helping him.

"We need to get through there," Joe insisted. "Even if we can't make him see Kolya's an illusion, we can help him, take some of the pain."

There was a collective shudder as they remembered those horrible three months in that cell.

"Then let's try to break the damn barrier," Brendan said. CIA Agent and some of the other more forceful imprints started rounding up the ones who'd clustered around Traci, marshaled them into ranks so they could all rush the wall at once.

The pain was making it difficult for John to think. He needed to be able to think clearly so he could rescue the botanists, get back to Atlantis and warn the others about Kolya's plan.

Kolya prowled closer to him. "That's what drives you, isn't it? Your past failures."

_No,_ John thought. _Survival. Can't let Rossum get me._

Kolya was damn good at getting under John's skin. For some reason, John thought that protecting the people on Atlantis, saving their lives made up for all of the lives he'd ruined as a doll.

"We have to wait till Kolya's distracted," Brendan said. "Us breaking the barrier will probably disorient John. He needs to be ready."

"Kolya's not real," Physicist reminded them. "As soon as we break down the barrier, Kolya will stop hurting him."

"But if Kolya hurts him, his mind will lock itself down, and the barrier will probably get worse," Brian said. "Haven't you noticed? Every time Kolya hits him, the barrier thickens for a second. And when he says things, it's even worse."

"So Kolya does need to be distracted." Brendan signaled CIA Agent and the other imprints leading the charge at the barrier. "Get ready."

When Kolya radioed for two more men, John's panic ratcheted up a notch. His heart rate spiked when they dragged him to his knees.

English Teacher caught on first. "Oh no. That terrible pun. He means it literally."

"But it's not real, not really happening," Physicist insisted.

When Kolya drew his machete, John's world went blinding white.

Traci flung herself at the barrier, kicking and screaming and shrieking. "No! You son of a bitch! Let him go!"

"We have to do this now," Joe insisted. "Come on!"

Brendan gave the signal. "Now!"

As one, the imprints flung themselves at the wall, crested like a wave.

Kolya brought the machete down.

The imprints hit the wall and bounced off, and everything went black.

 *

The imprints came back to consciousness around the same time as John did, lying on the ground with twigs stabbing him through his uniform, left wrist throbbing.

"Dammit!" Brian pushed himself to his feet. "John, you're fine! You still have your hand!"

"He can't hear you," Joe said.

Kolya loomed over John once more. "You're an interesting man, Sheppard. You travel to another galaxy, risking your life to defend a bunch of people you don't even know. You ask me, you're either someone with a death wish or someone running away from something." He knelt down so he was closer. "So tell me, what are you running away from?"

The imprints went still. They were all running away from the same thing. Beds set into the ground with glass covers, arranged five to a pod, a macabre flower. Serene lighting, yoga classes, communal showers, swimming pools. Trimming bonsai trees, painting like kindergarteners, and men and women who herded them around, treated them like toys. The imprint chair, with its agony of blue light. Adelle DeWitt and her damn tea. Topher and his grating voice. Poor Dr. Saunders, who was really a ruined doll put to good use. From days and nights and nights and nights of being someone else's dream, someone else's fantasy, someone else's plaything. From being someone's tool, expendable high-priced monkey-wrench. From being named after NATO alphabet call signs and _I try to be my best_.

John's mind was fogged with the physical pain and the memories. Holland. Nancy. His father. His mother. Joe. The Dollhouse.

"Let's try this again," Joe said. What he wanted to say, more than anything, was, _John, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago._

When John escaped, they almost made it through the barrier when John's surge of triumph flooded through them, but the barrier still held.

When John went over the cliff, half of the imprints devolved into panic, and Joe couldn't blame them.

And then the barrier came down itself when Kolya told John to climb up, to use his other hand.

_Come on,_ Joe said to John. _It's time to go home._

Back on Atlantis, Keller insisted on checking both Rodney and John over in the infirmary.

"It was a pretty hair-raising moment," John admitted. "I'm back at the jumper, and it looks wrecked, and then, bam, there's Kolya, and he's all, _surprise, bitch, you thought you seen the last of me!_ "

Too late, John realized what had come out of his mouth.

Traci and the other imprints burst into giggles. John didn't even try to stifle them.

Rodney blinked. "He didn't actually say that, did he?"

"Well, no," John said. "But I'm pretty sure he was thinking it."

Rodney raised his eyebrows.

"It was all over his face when he was smirking at me."

"He wasn't real," Rodney said.

"Well, you know what I mean."

"No, no I don't."

"Whatever. Kolya's really dead. We helped save some more aliens." John craned his neck in search of Keller. "Can we go now?"

"Yes," Keller said. "You can go."

John was out of the infirmary as fast as he could. He joked around with the others at dinner, even played a pick-up game of basketball with Lorne and some of the marines afterward. Back in his quarters, he let Traci out and she giggled herself silly over him repeating what she'd said aloud, and the others joined in. Mirth was relief that Kolya really was dead, that they'd survived.

As John fell asleep, he mulled over what Kolya had said to him. Kolya hadn't been Kolya, he'd been John's deepest, darkest fears. And those had yet to die.


End file.
